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I Rant, Therefore I Am

Dennis Miller

Random House Audio · Album · 2000

An audio collection of highly structured complaints and wordplay.

Dennis Miller’s 2000 audio release strips away the visual framing of his late-night television show to focus entirely on his signature format: the rant. I Rant, Therefore I Am relies on Miller’s hyper-literate wordplay, marrying mundane observations with heavily structured analogies. He compares astronauts to people riding giant deodorant spray cans into a vacuum, and points out the irony of fashion models spending their days waiting for hideous people to call them.

Released as a two-disc comedy album corresponding to his third book, the recording arrived at the peak of his run on Dennis Miller Live and right before his stint on Monday Night Football. Without a live theater audience to pace his delivery, Miller moves methodically through his premises. He targets the American education system by arguing that student loans shouldn’t be repaid unless a graduate lands a job in their chosen field, and admits he can’t hear the television title Touched by an Angel without assuming a professional baseball player is being sued.

The set list

7 bits
  1. Daytime television talk shows

    Attacks shows like Jerry Springer as an anti-Darwinian wasteland and sideshow freak display watched by unemployed people asking what people arrested on Cops do during the daytime.

  2. The Social Responsibility of the President

    Analyzes Bill Clinton's high approval ratings despite scandals, comparing him to Richard Nixon and proposing voters choose candidates via Polaroids of their genitalia.

  3. Models

    Observes the irony that the world's most exquisite-looking people spend all day by the phone waiting for hideous people to call them.

  4. College tuition loans

    Argues that graduates should not have to repay student loans unless they secure employment in their actual field of study.

  5. Consumerism

    Asserts that a true shopping addiction is indicated when department store lights dim as your credit card is swiped.

  6. Faith

    Envious of total religious commitment while unable to hear the title 'Touched by an Angel' without imagining a professional athlete being sued for sexual harassment.

  7. Astronauts

    Remarks on the extreme bravery required to strap oneself to what amounts to a giant explosive deodorant can to walk in the vacuum of deep space.

How it plays

Tone
Irreverent, cynical, politically incorrect, and biting.
On stage
Wise-guy, cynical, sharp-witted, quick-tongued, hilariously poignant, and irreverent.
Pace
Fast-paced delivery structured as an armada of satirical projectiles.
About
Daytime talk shows, The Clinton/Lewinsky scandal and presidential responsibility, Consumerism and shopping, College tuition and loans, Faith and religion, Models and vanity

What the critics said

Praised by reviewers as supreme satisfaction for fans, showcasing Miller's fast-paced, sharp-witted, and cynical voice across 53 satirical monologues, even if some political topics had dated quickly.

In the room: Fans enthusiastically demanding his signature routines with chants of 'The rants, the rants, the rants!'

Summed up from reviews, articles and listings. Sources: penguinrandomhouse.com, biblio.co.uk, books.org, archive.org, salon.com, amazon.com, en.wikipedia.org.

Backstory

Material compiled from Miller's monologues on HBO's Dennis Miller Live against the backdrop of late-1990s political crises, sex scandals like Clinton/Lewinsky, and the Y2K scare.