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If You Didn't Want Me Then

Beth Stelling

Netflix · 2023 · 59 min

A dry, patient homecoming hour about aging, family, and fake husbands.

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Beth Stelling spent her childhood in Dayton, Ohio, trying to flirt with her teenage babysitter, Tim. Decades later, she is back in her hometown, performing for an audience that includes Tim himself, whose sudden laugh from the crowd earns a literal onscreen subtitle. That level of hyper-local, slightly awkward history anchors a set about how the past is always trailing just a few steps behind us.

Filmed at the Victoria Theatre in Dayton and released on Netflix in October 2023, the hour finds Stelling at a high point in her career following her 2020 special, Girl Daddy. Her delivery is dry and methodical, marked by the patience of a comic who knows exactly how long she can hold a silence before the crowd gives in. She fills the stage with highly specific autobiographical dispatches, recounting her dad’s bizarre attempts to command a backyard raccoon army, her decision to age naturally in Los Angeles to serve as a cosmetic surgery control group, and the exhausting logistics of buying camping gear with a fake husband just to feel safe outdoors.

The set list

5 bits

  1. Crush on her teenage babysitter Tim and the origin of the special's title

    Recounts awkwardly flirting as a child with her babysitter Tim, who recently asked her out as an adult, turning it into a joke where she declines because he didn't want her back then.

  2. Father feeding raccoons in Orlando

    Details her father's bizarre nightly routine of feeding an ever-growing pack of raccoons dog food and Hershey's Kisses on his porch, accompanied by actual photos.

  3. Camping alone with a fake husband

    Explains taking a cross-country drive to Dayton and, upon hearing a noise outside her tent while camping, loudly faking a dialogue between a submissive woman and an aggressive husband for protection.

  4. Birth control history and side effects

    Engages the audience to share experiences with contraceptive pills before reading out an alarming, exhaustive list of medicinal side effects.

  5. Sneaking into college fraternity parties in the eighth grade

    Examines past normalized adolescent behaviors with a sharp feminist lens, noting the vulnerability of young girls at university parties.

How it plays

Tone
Dry, witty, reflective, and raunchy while toggling between silly observations and serious personal themes.
On stage
Slyly laid-back, personable, witty, and understated with deadpan delivery and a cool-girl smirk.
Pace
Laid-back, steady, and conversational pacing that delivers sharp punchlines seamlessly.
About
childhood and adolescence in Dayton, aging and bodily changes, birth control and womanhood, eccentric family members and parental relationships, safety and solo travel

What the critics said

Extremely positive; reviewers lauded her masterful storytelling, deceptively sharp feminist insights, and effortless, deadpan delivery.

In the room: Warm and receptive hometown theater crowd featuring local friends and family, ending in a standing ovation.

Summed up from reviews, articles and listings. Sources: bbfc.co.uk, pro.imdb.com, rottentomatoes.com, nytimes.com, pastemagazine.com, decider.com, readysteadycut.com, en.wikipedia.org.

Backstory

A homecoming special filmed in her hometown of Dayton, Ohio, reflecting on her childhood upbringing by a single mother, visits to her father in Florida, and her choices regarding marriage and motherhood.

Details

Released
Taped
Victoria Theatre, Dayton
Runtime
59 min
Where
Netflix
Director
Mo Welch
Topics
Before
Girl Daddy (2020)

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