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Promotional art for I'm Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine)
Cover image credit: via TMDB

I'm Gonna Die Alone (And I Feel Fine)

Jen Kirkman

Netflix · 2015 · 78 min

An hour about divorce, turning 40, and remaining child-free by choice.

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Jen Kirkman turns the things society expects a 40-something woman to be ashamed of into a source of defiant pride. Newly divorced and child-free by choice, she has zero interest in following the standard life script or pretending she misses it. The best moments of the hour come from her complete rejection of conventional milestones, whether she is questioning the delusion of married couples who think their weddings were actually fun for the guests, or detailing the harsh reality of finding her first gray pubic hair. She also recounts a cautionary tale about accidentally becoming a cougar when she hooked up with a 20-year-old drummer right after her separation.

Filmed at the North Door in Austin, Texas, the 78-minute set captures Kirkman hitting her stride. In 2015, she was widely known as a regular on Chelsea Lately and a frequent storyteller on Drunk History, having recently published a bestselling book about her kid-free life. The material builds on that established ethos, particularly when she mocks a friend’s modern parenting technique of standing in a dark corner of a toddler’s room to make the child feel empowered. The hour landed well with critics, earning spots on year-end top-ten lists from The Atlantic, New York Magazine, and Time Out New York.

The set list

6 bits

  1. A man at a bar who cannot distinguish between a lemon and a lime

    Observes 'Dave' asking for 'the green one' as evidence of the stupidity of humankind and reflects on how women downplay their intelligence around men.

  2. Fling with a 20-year-old drummer

    Chronicles her brief stint as a 'cougar' two days after separating from her husband, illustrating the dramatic lifestyle and maturity differences between 20 and 40.

  3. Finding gray pubic hair at 40

    Worries her hair will look like barbed wire and compares her aging body to both a closing factory and a scary Halloween house.

  4. Insanity of modern parenting methods

    Ridicules over-the-top parenting techniques, including a friend who stands in the dark corner of her toddler's room so he feels 'empowered' while sleeping.

  5. Climate change reporting

    Wants scientists to give specific human timelines rather than scientific scales so she knows exactly when she can start smoking again and living recklessly.

  6. The farce of weddings and registry expectations

    Examines why people feel compelled to buy registry items like snack nut bowls and insists everyone merely pretends their expensive weddings were fun.

How it plays

Tone
Raunchy, irreverent, sharp, pragmatic, and candid.
On stage
Cynical yet not bitter, unsentimental, confident, and bewildered rather than aggressively angry, with vocal vigor and rough-voiced delivery influenced by Sam Kinison.
Pace
Discursive, conversational pace reminiscent of a chat over drinks, punctuated by understated dry asides and organic dynamic shifts.
About
divorce, turning 40 and aging, choosing not to have children, modern parenting insanity, societal expectations around marriage versus being single, casual sex and dating younger men

What the critics said

Critically praised across multiple reviews for its sharp, refreshing, and deeply personal material on middle age, divorce, and womanhood that defiantly avoids conventional self-deprecation.

In the room: Engaged and receptive live club dynamic in Austin, with moments of interactive feedback and room to breathe.

Summed up from reviews, articles and listings. Sources: themoviedb.org, hk.flixboss.com, scrapsfromtheloft.com, chortle.co.uk, postgradmusicreviews.com, oxfordkarma.com, pastemagazine.com, en.wikipedia.org, ew.com.

Backstory

Turning 40, four years out from a divorce, navigating dating, and openly rejecting societal expectations around marriage and motherhood.

Details

Released
Taped
The North Door, Austin
Runtime
78 min
Where
Netflix
Director
Lance Bangs
Topics
After
Just Keep Livin’? (2017)

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